In search of a good fuck

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On-screen depictions of sex show women coming again and again, yet in reality many women never climax during sex. There will be a man and a woman and they are having sex. Up against a wall, in a bed, in a car, anywhere. Vertically, horizontally. Clothed or unclothed. None of that matters, because the outcome will be the same.

Within a minute, usually, the man and woman will have an orgasm at the same time. It will be visible, spectacular, satisfying. Then perhaps, she will have another and another and another. This scene will be familiar because it has been enacted ever since sex was allowed onscreen.

But it is fiction. But if they do, it is unlikely to be because of thrusting. The orgasm. That much is known. Things are better than they were in the 19th century, when male gynaecologists examined women while standing behind a cloak. But in the late s, medical men were still having earnest discussions in the s of medical journals about whether menstruating women emitted a poisonous substance called menotoxin, that made flowers wilt. The US National Institutes of Health only set up a programme to research vaginal health in — the male orgasm was first researched a century earlier.

There are just nuggets of information for women: a paper from the s establishing that women reported having several orgasms. Or they said they did: proper analysis of even the single female orgasm has only become possible with the advent of diagnostic tools such as the fMRI scanner or EEG, which can see what happens in the brain. Nearly half of the nurses questioned reported multiple orgasms. Blood flow to the genitals, an important part of orgasm, can now be tracked. We can watch over 30 areas of the brain light up, including ones that govern emotion and joy, and release oxytocin, a feelgood chemical that enables bonding.

We can see the physiological process of orgasm: the tensing of muscles, the acceleration of heart-rate, the blood flowing to the genital area, and then the blessed feeling of release and pleasure. At this point, women and men diverge.

For a start, the man is more likely to have had an orgasm than a woman. I look at that gap, and see the clitoris. This mighty, magnificent organ, that has more nerve endings than the penis, exists, as far as we know, only to give pleasure. As possibly the female orgasm does: it has no known reproductive purpose, but there is no clarity. One theory: that the orgasm is a way for the female body to capture more sperm with the contractions of climax. This varies from a few minutes in young men to 20 hours in older ones, but however long it is, there will be no response to sexual stimulation.

A woman has no such barrier. The circumstances required include her environment, her partner if she needs one , and her knowledge of her own body. We see images of women with improbably shaven genitalia, and supposedly female dolls with no external labia. When women come to her thinking they are dysfunctional in some way, says Sarah Martin, executive director of the World Association of Sex Coaches, one of the most powerful things she can do is send them away to look at their vulva in a mirror.

Using the right words is important too. Vulva, not vagina. Martin also tries to get women to relax. Before orgasm, alpha waves in our brains slow down. Their brains were quieter, making more room for pleasure. What might you be worrying about? The vagina is marvellous, but it is not packed with nerve endings like the clitoris.

You may think differently about the vagina if you believe in the G-spot. This was launched into popular perception by an eponymous book written by two psychologists and a nurse, and by countless articles since. What a great thought.

There is still no good scientific data to prove its existence, although plenty of women believe they have one. Cardozo is circumspect. When women have had that part of the anterior wall excised, they have still been able to orgasm. You probably want tips for how to get a multiple orgasm here. Or even a single one. I prescribe better research, of course. But also, better talking. I prescribe better knowledge: women can orgasm singly and multiply orgasm, but often it has to be learned. The clitoris should be placed on equal standing with the penis. All these prescriptions can combine for as pleasing an outcome as an orgasm, single or multiple.

Because it matters. The search for the multiple orgasm - does it really exist? Multiple orgasms … what you need to know Illustration: Olimpia Zagnoli. Rose George. Tue 19 Jun Topics Sex Women features. Reuse this content.

In search of a good fuck

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The search for the multiple orgasm - does it really exist?