In a relationship and not happy

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By: Stephanie Kirby. Medically Reviewed By: Christy B. Are you struggling in your relationship? Research suggests that around 20 percent of people in relationships are unhappy. It is human nature to want a relationship that makes you happy. The good news is there are several things you can do to improve your relationship and increase your level of happiness. The First Step Is Recognizing. This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.

When you're in an unhappy relationship, you might feel stuck. You don't want to leave the relationship, but it also doesn't feel like you're getting what you ed up for. You have a choice to make. However, since you're reading this article, that's probably not what you want to do. If your relationship is unhappy right now, you might want to find a way to improve your relationship and be happier. There are a few steps that can help you do that:. s your relationship could be in trouble and that you may not be happy in your relationship include:.

If any of the s above resonate with you, and your relationship, odds are, they could be contributing to the overall unhappiness. Although every partnership goes through hard times, it shouldn't overshadow the good things. This is okay in the short term. But in the long term, keeping a relationship alive where you are unhappy is unhealthy.

So what should you do? Read on to discover some of the steps you can take to fix things if you are not happy with your relationship. Before you identify your relationship as the source of your unhappiness, it's essential to evaluate your life holistically.

This allows you to see if there's anything else that could be causing your discontentment and masquerading as relational discord. When we are dealing with internal issues, we have the tendency to project these feelings onto our partners subconsciously. Possible sources of external discontent are:. With many of these things, a general feeling of dissatisfaction or irritation can spread to your relationship. Because you're emotionally and physically close to your partner, it's common to let down your guard and take your unhappiness out on them. This kind of unhealthy projection can cause bitterness and discontent on both sides.

First, pinpoint the issue and share your feelings with your partner. If money worries are the problem, be open and honest about your fears. If you're concerned about things that are happening with the kids, communicate these thoughts as well. You might be surprised to find that your ificant other has some of the same concerns or is at the very least open to supporting you through your personal hurdles. Next, tackle the issues head-on. This is where a qualified counselor can really be of service.

Because he or she will be trained in solving a myriad of issues, having a guide can make the process a lot easier than going at it alone. This is paramount because, when we take responsibility for our individual areas of unhappiness and work on healing these areas, we often see a boost of positive feelings in our relationships as well. If you decide that an external factor is not your primary issue, evaluate what about your relationship is making you unhappy. Try to be as specific as possible and pinpoint the exact area of discontent.

Are you unhappy with your:. Once you've identified the root of your discontentment, it's important to also reflect on the positive aspects of your relationship. Spend some time identifying why your relationship is healthy and the things about it that make you happy. Take some time to write out your feelings, both positive and negative. You will need to have a conversation with your partner about your unhappiness.

He or she is likely to be much more receptive if you have your feelings, thoughts, and concerns outlined clearly, so they're not confused about what's really going on. Next, you need to communicate your feelings to your partner. This needs to be done respectfully and intentionally. Choose your words carefully, and resist casting blame on your partner. Use "I feel" statements to simply express what you've been feeling, and give suggestions on how your partner could support you. Listen to your partner's response and, even though you've been vulnerable in expressing your needs, carefully and calmly consider what they have to say.

Understand that your partner might internalize your feelings, and be patient if he or she becomes sad, upset, or angry. Although you aren't responsible for their emotions and should speak your truth regardless, empathy can go a long way when trying to work out relationship issues. Once you've shared your feelings, see if you two can work together to tackle the issues and solve them one by one. This will take some time and commitment, but if you truly value your relationship, it will be worth it in the end.

Finally, you will need to decide whether you believe your relationship can be salvaged and if you want to attempt that. This is a personal decision that is yours and yours alone. Even your partner's feelings don't really matter at this point because it is unhealthy to stay in a relationship to please someone else. When considering your best option, reflect on the length of your relationship, your time together, and your partner's response to your recently-expressed needs. After all, no loving partnership will be perfect; all partnerships require commitment and compromise.

However, if you come to the conclusion that your overall relationship is not one built on love, support, and trust, you may choose to do the hard and complicated work of ending the relationship. You will benefit from support while you're evaluating your options. You can read reviews of our therapists below, from people experiencing similar issues. She's very thoughtful, thorough, honest, insightful but most of all helpful.

This is coming from a person that never wanted to do counseling and just "knew" I didn't need it. She's been key in helping my wife and I find our better place. She made us grow as a couple and individually. Thanks Steph! After a strong rift with my husband, I needed a compassionate ear that wasn't my friends or family.

She listened, gave me good feedback and ased helpful habits. So far everything she suggested has been working really well. Thanks to her, I've made great progress, and I'm excited to continue until I'm back to me. Relationships don't always make us feel happy the way we think they should.

But with a little work and attention, it's possible to rediscover happiness with your ificant other. Take the first step and connect with a relationship expert today. If you're unhappy in your current relationship but are still interested in making the relationship work, the best thing to do is talk with your partner — have a heart to heart. Be sure to listen to their feelings and thoughts as well. Provide solutions to the issues you feel you've been having and listen to their ideas as well. The main reasons why people stay in unhappy relationships is because of the time, resources, and emotions they've invested in it, they think they don't have good alternatives, and they believe that if they do leave a relationship, they will fail at life.

Relationship trouble is common now and then, especially the longer the relationship lasts. And that is common with most long-term relationships. A toxic relationship is characterized by insecurity, self-centeredness, dominance, and control. It may be difficult to live your best life in a toxic relationship. You see the s of an unhappy relationship. When should you give up? Take out old love letters and read them aloud to one another. Go back to places where beautiful, intimate moments were shared and relive them together. Reach out to others who were there with you who can remind you of what you were like when your relationship was still alive and prospering.

You feel like you can't get them off of your mind. The 5 most important things in a relationship are trust, respect, love, attention, and communication. There are some red flags that may show that your relationship is on the brink of disaster. These red flags are seen when your partner drives a wedge between you and your family and friends, they have drastic mood swings and are often on a short fuse, they become secretive about their life, and they start to give you manipulative guilt trips.

What is a toxic girlfriend? People who contribute to toxicity in a relationship love to use various tactics like these to get their way and reduce your self-esteem and sense of self-worth. How do you tell if you are being manipulated? Manipulative behavior involves three main factors: fear, obligation, and guilt. When you are being manipulated by someone, you are more likely being psychologically coerced into doing something you probably don't really want to do,. There are some telltale s of an unhappy man in a relationship.

Sudden mood swings and changes in his normal personality can be an indicator of a man who is unhappy in his relationship. He might also bring up past offenses, compliment you less, and spend more time with his friends and family and less time with you which can make seem like the relationship is one-sided. A man who wants to be in a relationship with you will do the opposite. If he's not interested in you enough to respect you and your time, then he probably doesn't want a relationship with you either.

When should you stay in a relationship and fight for it? This is especially true if those interests involve an important area of life for one or preferably both people. What you really need is understanding. The bottom line is that no one is a relationship expert, and there are times when you should give up on someone you love. Other reasons like when your partner is abusive or finding yourself obligated to stay in the relationship are s.

Be aware that the feeling of failure might arise after making such a decision. Studies show that, on average, both healthy and unhealthy relationships only last 2 years and 9 months. Is it Okay to be Unhappy in a Relationship? Feeling unhappy is not healthy for your relationship.

In a relationship and not happy

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10 subtle s your partner is no longer happy in your relationship