Added: Wacey Brathwaite - Date: 03.09.2021 00:51 - Views: 10224 - Clicks: 8143
For years, women have been told we are responsible for our own orgasms; no one can hand it to us on a silver platter. And most of us can manage to get there very nicely on our own, thank you. There are some obvious blocks to orgasm, like prior trauma, repressive sexual upbringing, shyness, overthinking, inability to relax, control issues, problems in the relationship or other stresses.
These women often minimize their desire for it, saying they enjoy the good feelings and intimacy that they get during sex. Shere Hite reported the same dilemma in the s The Hite Report , Communication is, of course, key. Most workshops about reaching orgasm focus first on familiarizing yourself with your own sexual response and eventually finding the type of stimulation that le to orgasm.
Some women have orgasm that is qualitatively different depending on whether there is anal, G-spot, or clitoral stimulation. You may like direct or indirect stimulation of the clitoris with a finger, vibrator, something inside your vagina or anus, anal stimulation, with lubricant or without, direct, strong pressure on the vulva, like a thigh or a pillow, or not.
Women may ejaculate or not, or only some of the time. How comfortable are you having an orgasm in front of your partner? Is it exciting, embarrassing, eyes open, eyes closed, watching your partner watching you, getting off on their pleasure? Is there an alternate kind of stimulation that your partner can try? Are you worried your partner will get tired or frustrated? And maybe more importantly: can you show your partner what works for you without detailing an exhaustive list? Sex is primarily for pleasure.
Some women feel the need to stay in control of all aspects of their lives, which may impede erotic intimacy. Sometimes I wonder if dealing with barriers to orgasm is as simple—and as complicated—as dealing with insomnia. It would be lovely if two people could go with the flow.
If it feels good, do it. If you or your partner gets tired, stop and do something else. And all of this can happen with a smile, a laugh, the conspiratorial joy of discovery. This is intimacy; it happens between the two of you. Is it your role to be The One who finds their magic formula? Answer: the magic is what happens between you, not between their legs.
Search this site:. Tagged : Spring Talks Sex Print. Printer-friendly version By Lyba Spring For years, women have been told we are responsible for our own orgasms; no one can hand it to us on a silver platter. Talk to me: springtalks1 gmail. Search Our E-Library.
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SPRING TALKS SEX - I’ve been thinking about orgasm