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Are your orgasms more fizzle than sizzle? If your climaxes seem like a lot of work for not much payoff, the reasons could be physical or psychological, could be technique, or could be you just need a little help from some "friends. When we have low libido, inability to orgasm, or our quality of orgasm is not as strong as it used to be, can anything be done?

You need to be fully present, says Ellen Barnard , sex educator, sex counselor, and spokesperson for the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. Shut down the . When you are distracted with life, you are essentially on the bleachers during sex when you should be focused on the playing field. A study published in the September issue of the Journal of Sexual Research found that orgasm ability increased 30 percent with either a four-session or an eight-session mindfulness program for women.

Remember that you are more than just genitals; the body is filled with many nerve endings. Tapping into your undiscovered sexual pleasure zones everyone is different can intensify the experience and orgasmic potential. Each partner draws an outline of the front and back of their body, then they draw on areas where they want to be touched, are up for something new, and want to avoid.

You could use color codes: Green means full speed ahead, red means stay away, and yellow means proceed with caution, instructions to follow. Then each explains to the other what they mean. Krychman, who is also the coauthor of The Sexual Spark. Certain diseases diabetes and medications selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors , anticonvulsants can affect the ability to reach orgasm. Barnard says that the issues for which you would want to get medical advice are trouble getting aroused, difficulty getting an erection or maintaining one, and a general lack of sensation during arousal or orgasm.

Did you know that there are pelvic therapy specialists out there? You can get assessed by these specialists if you suspect that physical therapy might be necessary. In addition to more obvious workouts, like Pilates or yoga, which help strengthen the pelvic floor while exercising your whole body, some physical therapy studios, such as the Herman and Wallace Pelvic Rehabilitation Institute, specialize in pelvic floor health.

Practice exercises that relax those muscles. There are a variety of gadgets out there intended to intensify stimulation or increase your ability to feel sensation in different parts of your body. You could have nipple stimulation at the same time that you have other stimulation. Everyone is different; explore what works for you. Vibrators come in all sizes, speeds, materials, and price points, and can hit many erogenous spots or just stay with one. If you are not sure what you like hard vibrations or gentles pulses?

If you are too shy to go to a brick-and-mortar store, turn on the private browser feature on your computer. Plenty of online stores are discreet. Health Topics. Health Tools. Sexual Health. Reviewed: April 6, Medically Reviewed. Focus, Focus, Focus!

Editorial Sources and Fact-Checking. Paterson LQP, et al. Journal of Sexual Research. September Herbenick D, et al. Probability Sample of Women Ages 18 to Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. February 17,

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